THINGS I NOW KNOW

“Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he shall guide you into all the truth” John 16:13

There are certain knowledge I now posses since I was baptized with the Holy Spirit that I did not have before. And these truths have changed me from the inside out. Some are general biblical truths, some are personal revelations and life lessons but all have made a difference in my life and recreated me to be the person I am now. Of course, I cannot list them all but I have chosen to write a few.

• The number one truth I discovered is that the Holy Spirit is real! He is not a force or a power. He is a person! He is alive and true and spirit and REAL! He is my constant companion, helper, comforter, confidant and friend. He is so very real!
  
• I am not a human being having a spiritual experience. I am a spirit having a human experience. My spirit is as real as the Holy Spirit and more real than the body which houses me. When all is done and over with, it is my spirit that is left standing.
  
• Everything we see and touch around us; every physical thing exists because of the spiritual and depends on the spiritual for its very existence. That means the known is made by the unknown. So when Christ tells me to focus on the unseen, He sure knows what He is talking about!
  
• Since receiving the Holy Spirit, I have grown to know, understand, accept and love myself the way I am. It is only in Christ we can truly discover ourselves and it is only the Holy Spirit who can open our eyes to see US in Christ.
  
• The meaning of Purpose. I understand now who I am; what I am; why I am; what my part and path is in life; the reason I was created and saved; how I am to walk while on earth; my job as Christ’s co-worker. I know my talents and gifts and how to express them and how they fit into the eternal scheme of life. Now I can answer the question of WHO AM I?
  
• I am never alone. I have God, my Father; Jesus, my Intercessor and the Holy Spirit, my Helper and teacher.
  
• I have learnt that I am more than I think I am. I have learnt not to stay with the ME I know but to grow to become the ME God sees.
  
• I have no limitations. I can do all things and BE all things.
  
• The battle for life is fought in the mind. If my mind can conceive it, I can achieve it. If I can believe it; I can do it!
  
• I am as God. I am god. That is what God calls me. When I stand, it is as good as God standing because I am His representative on earth. I am here to do what He wants done. I am here to establish His kingdom. I am light. I am life.
  
• It is true I am not OF the world but I am still IN the world. And for as long as I am in it, I have to live in it and exist in it and contribute to it and impact it and make it a better place.
  
• I have learnt beyond any iota of doubt that LOVE truly is the greatest.
  
• I have learnt that ‘to whom much is given, much is expected’. I have to pass on all Christ gave me. I have to tell of the love of God. I have to give the Spirit to others. Being a Christian is a HUGE responsibility. This humbles me.
  
• I have learnt that there is still so much to learn and so much to know. The more I know, the more I still have to know. Now I understand that I am still ‘pressing towards the goal’ (Php 3:14). I am just starting.
  
• Now I know the truth of that statement - “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” 1 Cor 2:9.

And this is just the beginning!

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

“For with God, nothing shall be impossible” – Luke 1:37

I believe in miracles. I believe in a God who specializes in the impossible. I have seen and experienced too many things to feel otherwise. God is real and true and above everything.

I’m sitting here talking with my mom and we suddenly realized it is exactly fifteen years ago today that God did an amazing thing to show Himself mighty in our lives. He has done a great many things in our lives on a daily basis but like the Israelites look up to Crossing the Red Sea as a significant milestone so also I look up to that particular event as something wonderful. It is not a miracle like the opening of eyes or the lame walking. No, it is a miracle that shook me more than those have ever done.

There was a door in my parent’s house. It was in the entrance leading from the garage into the house. You can just drive into the garage and enter the house through that side door and you are in the living room. It was a door just like any other door except for one thing, it was loose. Somehow the door didn’t close well and even when you lock it with the key, all you had to do was lean on it and it would swing open. My dad was always planning to fix it or change the door but he always procrastinated and the door was left like that.

Then the unimaginable happened one night.

It was a night like every normal night that day fifteen years ago. My dad was out of the country on an official assignment. It was I, my mom, my grandmother, a female cousin and my little brothers at home. No adult male except an aging unarmed guard. Suddenly the silent night was shattered with the sounds of gunshots.

Armed robbers!

Anyone that has lived or lives in Nigeria will understand what I’m talking about. They had scaled the security fence, tied down our old guard and they were now trying to gain access into the house. We all woke up and panic ensued. Everybody tumbled out of the rooms running in different directions. Somehow we all found ourselves huddled in the little hall in the center of our house. The telephone was in the living room but nobody was going to move one inch away from that little hall.

And then we started hearing thumping sounds! They were ramming all the doors they could find to break inside. As one, we stared into each other’s eyes as the same thought dawned in our minds – THE GARAGE DOOR! Horror paralyzed us and froze our hearts. I clung tightly to my mom. We all did. Including my grandmother. Then I heard her whispering “Jesus, help us. Show yourself faithful!”

The thumping went on for some time and then the shooting resumed. They shot sporadically into the house from every side. They shouted and yelled for us to open the door or they would set fire to the house. My mom just kept repeating those words over and over “Jesus, show yourself faithful”. Then we started hearing sounds of fighting. There was a whole lot of shouting and screaming for a long time.

After what seemed like forever, there was silence. We strained our ears but could hear nothing. Nevertheless, we stayed right where we were till dawn. It was when neighbors started trooping in in the morning and called out to us that we felt safe enough to leave the hall. We opened the door and saw what we could not explain. There was blood everywhere. On the fence, the walls of the house, the grounds all around the compound. Even leading outside the gate, we saw bloody footprints.

Our old guard who had been tied up outside was the only eyewitness and the only thing he could tell us was they were shooting into the house then one of the robbers brought a can of gasoline to pour round the house and suddenly, the man with the gasoline started bleeding and yelling to be left alone and then pandemonium broke out and all the others started struggling and yelling too. They ended up scrambling and running out of the compound like the hordes of hell were after them, leaving most of their weapons and a whole lot of blood.

We walked round the house and the walls were riddled with bullet holes outside but none had penetrated through to the inside The bullets were lodged in the walls. Not even a single window was cracked! But that was not all. We entered the garage and came to that door. That loose, always swinging opening door.

On the body of the door were deep gouges, bullet holes with bullets and boot prints like we found on all the other doors. The robbers had rammed and kicked and shot at that door to get it open but that door had held firm! And yet, as my mom walked up to it and leaned on it, it swung open!

That day, even though I wasn’t yet a Christian and wouldn’t be for many more years, I stood in awed fear of the greatness and faithfulness of the God my parents served. I have never forgotten the dizzying sense of fear and respect and awe I experienced as I gaped in silence at the evidence of the existence and power of God.

The garage has another door now but in our store room we keep that old scarred door as a testimony to that night when “Jesus showed Himself faithful” according to my mother’s prayer. “But the Lord is faithful, who shall establish you, and guard you from the evil one” 2 Thess 3:3

Oh! How much I believe in miracles and the God of miracles! How much I believe the faithfulness of God!

GOD IS GOOD

“O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever” Psalm 107:1

In all the sad and difficult things that have been happening it is easy to lose sight of the goodness of God. It is so easy to stand back and ask ‘How can a good God allow such bad things?’ Very easy to query the goodness of God in the face of such ‘badness’.

But let us not forget the bible says “God is good” not that “good is God”. What that means is that good deeds do not define God. God defines good. Being good is not an attribute we ascribe to God. Good is God’s nature. That is who He is. Good is not a character, it is a person. IT IS GOD!

We define good by human standards but good can only be defined by God. Whatever God does is good because it is His nature; He cannot do anything but good; He cannot be anything else but good! HE IS GOOD!

Now I’m not saying those deaths are good things or that God killed my uncle and friends. No! Those things happened as a result of the ripple effects of the fall and they will continue to happen until we grow into the fullness of Christ and overcome death.

What I am saying is that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things seem, no matter the pervasive evil in the world, God is a good God and whatever He does is good so the only way to determine the goodness of something is to ask the question – “Did God do it?” if the answer is Yes, then that thing is a good thing.

I am convinced of the goodness of God. In the midst of so much heartache and tears, I have no doubt that my God is good. I serve a good God. I have a good Father. Even when He does things I don’t understand and because of my shortsightedness I cannot see the good right now, I still know it is good because “GOD IS GOOD” and because “we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose” Rom 8:28.

So I worship my God and thank Him for all His goodness. I honor Him and bless His holy name. There is none like Him in all the earth and above and below. He is my God and my Father. My Good God and My Good Father!

HE IS MY COMFORT

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our affliction, that we may be able to comfort them that are in any affliction, through the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” 2 Cor 1:3&4

Last month was a heavy month for me. While still grappling with the loss of my uncle, I was faced with my friends’ loss of their little baby. I had yet to deal with that when I lost another friend. A young man who just got married late last year. As if that was not enough, I got news of the death of a co-volunteer on Nabuur. She died in a car crash.

I felt battered on every side. I could not understand anything again. I was operating on auto-pilot. I felt each loss keenly but could not give in to my grief because I had to be strong for others. I had to be strong for my mother, aunty and cousins who had lost a brother, husband and father; I had to be strong for my friends who were mourning the sudden death of their precious baby. I had to be strong for my friend’s young wife and the work on Nabuur had to continue.

I was floundering on an emotional tightrope and I knew it. I felt brittle and could feel I was close to shattering. I put on a brave face during the day and lay awake dry eyed at night. This continued till sometime last week when I entered my bathroom one morning to take a shower and suddenly started shaking. Tremors racked my whole body and I could not stop the shivering.

I sat on the floor, wrapped my arms around myself and tried to control the shaking. I could not.

I don’t know how long I sat there till finally I raised my head and looked out the window. I said “Jesus……..” and that was all it took. It felt as if someone wrapped giant warm arms around me and at that moment the tears I’d held back for so many days broke free.

I snuggled into those arms and wept out the pain, anger and sadness. My whole body heaved as I sobbed. I cried for the lives cut short. I cried for loved ones left behind to mourn and I cried for myself. I opened my heart up to the Holy Spirit, snuggled into My Father’s arms, held on to Jesus and allowed them to comfort me.

There is still anger, pain and sadness and there still will be for a long time but now I don’t run from it. I run to my heavenly family with it and they gather round and hold me in comfort. The more I allow myself to be comforted, the better I’m able to comfort those around me. And little by little, we are healing.

I still don’t understand why all these happened and I still don’t know when it will all stop but I do understand and know comfort. The kind of comfort only God can give. The kind of comfort that makes me a comfort to others. And I am grateful for it.

GIVE THANKS

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus to you” – 1 Thess 5:18

My dear friend had her much longed for, much desired baby. She and her husband had suffered through three miscarriages. I have seen the hope and joy whenever she discovers she’s pregnant and the despair and heartache when she loses the pregnancy. I have prayed with them and for them. And I have never seen them lose their faith.

Then this pregnancy. It was a difficult pregnancy from the word go. She spent more time in the hospital than home; more time in bed than out. But as each successive month crept by and the pregnancy held steady, our hope and joy increased.

When I got the call that she had put to bed, I screamed and danced a jig round my room. I cannot remember how I got to the hospital, I just found myself there. The joy on her face was confirmation that all those weeks in bed had been worth it. Everybody was euphoric. If any couple deserves to be and should be parents, it was them!

Four days later, their baby died.

For the first time, I saw my friend shattered. It was a blow too much for my strong, gentle, believing friend. She broke down. As she wept in my arms, I looked at her husband; he was numb. He seemed incapable of words or movement. I didn’t know what to say to either of them. I could only cry with them.

Then I heard one of the ladies who had come to comfort them say quietly “In everything give thanks”.

I felt a flash of anger. No, RAGE!

Give thanks for what! The miscarriages?; the long uncomfortable weeks in bed?; raising their hopes then dashing it?; dangling a baby in front of them and snatching it right back?

I saw nothing to give thanks about and no reason to thank God in anything that had just happened.

But just as quickly as it came, the anger left.

We are not told to find a reason to give thanks. Neither are we told there has to be a reason for thanksgiving. As simple and as difficult as it is, we are just told to ‘give thanks for that is the will of God to us’.

Just Give Thanks.

Oh, but how hard! How hard it is to give thanks in a situation like this. It is so hard!

THE LAST ENEMY

“The last enemy that shall be abolished is death.” 1 Cor 15:26

I wrote this two days after we laid my uncle to rest. He was sixty two years old and looking forward to the arrival of his first grandchild. We had no warning. No sign. He went to bed hale and hearty and never woke up again. It hit the whole family hard.

I have lost a lot of people over the course of my life. I lost my dear friend who helped me to Christ; I’ve lost a brother, friends, cousins, grandparents, aunties, uncles, colleagues, acquaintances. It has never gotten easier. I have asked ‘Why?” a lot of times.

But looking on as my Uncle was being interred, I asked another question. I asked “When?”

When will we overcome death?

I do not believe we are to wait till resurrection to become immortal. No! I believe it is something we are to become while on earth. Adam was not created to die. He was created to live forever. He lost it. Immortality was one of the things Christ came to restore back to us.

When Christ died on earth, He also rose on earth. In flesh and blood. He did not get to heaven before overcoming death. He overcame death then ascended to heaven. Why then have we accepted death as our lot in life?

Resurrection is not an event. It is a person – CHRIST! “Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life” –John 11:25

As long as we have Christ in us, we have resurrection in us. We are to be indestructible as He is. But if we do not understand that we will continue to be subject to death. “I said, Ye are gods, And all of you sons of the Most High. Nevertheless ye shall die like men, And fall like one of the princes” –Psalm 82:6&7

I agree that that is not a day’s job. Just as we are to grow into fullness so also we are to grow into immortality. We have to overcome a lot of things before we get to overcoming death. It is after all, the Last Enemy. Many of us will die physically before that is achieved. I understand that.

But standing by the grave and bidding my beloved uncle goodbye, it is hard for me to accept.

I can only ask, “WHEN?”

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

“The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words; their voice is not heard; yet their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.” Psalm 19:1-4

I have asked this question many times and I have received varying answers. But no answer has actually ever got the question correctly. I am not asking if you believe what man says about God.

I am a Christian and I believe the bible but no matter how much God inspired the bible might be, when pen was put to paper, it was by human hands. And when those ancient writings were translated to different versions and languages, it was by human scholars. We have had divinity explained to us by humanity.

But there is something that man has no hand in that explains the divine to us in a way no words can. The psalmist said “Look to nature and understand the ways of God”, so when I say do you believe in God, I am asking if you believe IN God!

When you look up to the starry sky, do you sense the divine? ; When you hear the booming thunder and watch the rolling lightning splitting the sky, do you feel awe? ; When you plant a seed and see the first thrust of its tentative growth out of the soil, do you feel that quickening in your heart? ; When you raise your face to the sun and feel its warmth, do you wonder about the countless mysteries space still hides in its wombs?

 In your search for answers, do you pause to think of what or who the question might be? ; As you follow science’s relentless quest for knowledge, do you ever sit and ask what is the foundation of that knowledge? ; In the Big Bang Theory, do you ask about the power behind the Bang? ; Do you ever hesitate and think there just might be a bigger truth out there?

Have you ever had a near miss and felt that scary tingle of “it should have been me”? ; Have you ever questioned coincidence? ; Do you walk past history and think how big, how far and how numerous the past is? ; Do you hear of an archeological discovery and feet your heart teeter on edge?

When you put your hand on the swelling mound of your belly and feel the beating life, do you think of creation? ; When you hold that precious bundle and count toes and fingers, do you wonder how? ; Do you at any moment question what you think you know? 

Do you?

Or have you lost the magic?

Do you believe in God?

SHIT DOESN’T HAPPEN!

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse: therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed” Deut 30:19

There’s a saying that “shit happens and life goes on” but I say “shit doesn’t happen and life goes on”. All the things we see around us are as a result of the choices we make not as a result of “shit chance” or bad luck.

Someone made the choice to fly the planes into the twin towers. Another person made the choice to fight back. Thousands of brave men and women who had made the choice to fight for and defend their country were sent to war. Millions of others who had made the choice to work and pay tax ensured the money for that war.

What of the things we don’t actively and willingly choose? Every choice has a ripple effect. Just like the choice of a few mad men to wage a terrorist war affected the lives of millions so also the choice Adam made gazillion years ago is affecting us till today. He gave up his dominion over the earth and we became subjects of a power which now rule the earth and that makes “shit happen”.

So just like your 5foot father (from a lineage of 5 footers) made the choice to marry your 4 foot mother (from a lineage of 4 footers) and with both genes combined you turned out a midget. Talk about having the choice of height snapped right out of your hands! Once Adam made that choice we had no choice again. No more say in what happens to us.

Christ came to restore that choice to us. He came to give us an alternative. So now we can decide all on our own whether to rule and become kings over every circumstance and situation or be slaves to “happening shits”.

There’s one thing God has never interfered with. That is freewill. All over the bible we see choices laid out for us. People say they cannot fathom a God who gives a choice to believe Him and live or not believe Him and die. Tobacco companies also give us the choice to smoke and die or not smoke and live and we choose, don’t we? That is freedom of choice!

How else is God to play it? Leave us free to do whatever and no consequences whatever? As a parent have you forgotten telling your child “if you ace this exam, you will go to Disney but if you don’t, you will take summer classes”? You say that is mild compared to the options God is offering? Well, remember the choices we have is a battle for our very lives, our souls, our spirits, and our destinies so it’s far bigger than end of term results. It’s huge enough to get God to come down in human form. We are playing for high stakes here so God cannot afford to offer up frivolous options.

Stop blaming God for the ‘bad’ things that happen. Realize those are the ripple effects of choices people made. Just as the color of your skin, texture of your hair and length of your legs was determined by the choices your ancestors made. Then when you accept that, you can begin to understand that you can make another choice not to live your life by the choice Adam made. You can take the alternative Christ offers.

Then “shit” won’t have to happen. What of Christians whom “shit” happens to? You see, that’s what maturing into Christ(ianity) does. It makes you like Jesus. You become above it all like he was on earth and still is in heaven. Then you get to determine the “shit” that happens or you can choose to make sure no “shit” ever happens.

SINNERS, BELIEVERS AND CHRISTIANS

“But God commendeth his own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” – Rom 5:8

Who is a sinner? According to the bible – NOBODY! Sinners existed before Christ but from the time Jesus died and rose, sinners ceased to exist. They simply went extinct!

The bible says “By which will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all” Heb 10:10. The word here is “ONCE FOR ALL” He doesn’t die every time a soul accepts Him as savior. NO! More than 2,000 years ago, He died and enveloped the whole world in a blanket of forgiveness. It is when you accept that that it becomes real to you but it doesn’t change the fact that He had already forgiven you ages ago.

Let me put it like this, if someone pays for a holiday cruise for you, as in pays all the bills, then you choose not to eat on the ship, does that mean the meal hasn’t been paid for? If you start eating on the fourth day of the cruise, does that mean the bill was just paid on the fourth day?

Christ has already paid the bill in full but we have to believe that fact and accept it and start ‘eating’ up for us to enjoy. That is when you become a believer.

You grow into Christianity. Look at the first time the word Christian was used in the bible – “And it came to pass, that even for a whole year they were gathered together with the church, and taught much people, and that the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch” Acts 11:26. It was when the group of disciples and believers became so much like Christ in their behavior and ways and teachings that people saw it and started calling them ‘CHRISTIANOS’ meaning ‘followers of Christ’

You become a Christian when you become like Christ. Free of every limitation and restriction. When you are full and complete. It is when you become ‘god’ on earth like Christ was. Above every situation and impossibility.

The believer has life, the Christian has abundant life!

So technically and biblically, I’m a believer not a Christian. But that’s okay. I will grow and mature into Christianity. That’s why the Christian life is a journey. With God, you crawl, stumble, limp, walk, fall, run, fly, crash till you are firmly rooted. It is a life measured in steps not time. It’s a journey that can be short or long depending on our willingness, submission and obedience.

I will get to full maturity but in the mean time I’m having a blast honeymooning with Christ as a believer!

WHY I LOVE BEING A CHRISTIAN

“The greatest of these is love” - 1Co 13:13

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! That’s just it. I can be who I am; who I want to be; who I should be and it won’t make a single tittle bit of difference to God. He loves me as I am. He accepts me as I am. He blesses me as I am.

I smoke, I drink, I have sex (that means fornication), and I swear, I have a temper, I have a bitchy tongue and I’m a Christian! Odd? Yes, according to so called Christian standards but to God – THAT’S MY DAUGHTER!

What I do does not and cannot change who I am. I am the beloved of His heart, His child. God loves me regardless of all the ‘sins’ I commit.

How many of us yearn to be loved for who we are exactly as we are? That can only be found in Christ. He is the only one who accepts us unconditionally.

I talk to the Holy Spirit of everything and He answers me. I tell Him of my day and deeds (including all my sins) and he listens. I tell Him of every thought and idea and plan whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and He hears me. ALWAYS!

My life never affects our relationship. God is my dad and I am his daughter!

I get angry at Him, I question Him, I sulk and throw tantrums and He is still my loving Father. He disciplines and punishes me just like my biological father. I don’t get away with all my crap but that’s what being a child to a good father is about.

I don’t pretend to Him because there’s no need to. Why would I lie to someone who loves me regardless (apart from the fact that He knows it all anyway)

And then a wonderful thing happens. When you have such unconditional, irrepressible, visible, obvious, open, loving love, it starts changing you. You begin to respond in kind. You start wanting to BE that love. You want to live up to His expectations. You want to make Him happy always. Then you realize you are changing.

Not a false change but a deep inner change that creeps up on you. You just realize one day that you are different in a wonderful way. That is the power of love.

God’s love treats us the way we should be not the way we are. He sees the greatness in us through the pettiness we show. He knows who we are not what we portray. He sees the creativity in our imaginatively wicked acts. He sees the passionate drive in our selfish motives. He sees the hunger for survival in our stampede of the weak. He believes in us. And He loves us!