Tuesday, April 6, 2010

FOR THIS PURPOSE WAS I BORN: MY STORY (2)

“Who hath saved us, and called us with an holy calling, not according to our works, but according to his own purpose and grace, which was given us in Christ Jesus before the world began” 2Tim 1:9


I cannot begin to tell you what discovering my purpose did to my life. It was as if a light switch went on in me and the world suddenly opened up before me. It was a fire that could never be extinguished. Purpose was all I thought, dreamt, wanted!

And the more I thought about it, the more I spent time reading those words I had written –

"Claude M. Bristol, the Author of ‘The Magic of Believing’ says – “Every person is the creation of himself. The image of his own thinking and believing. As individuals think and believe, so they are.” We believe that and so we work closely with you every step of the way to make you realise you are unique and special. We bring out the YOU in you. Because inside you is who you really are. And when you know and believe in who you are, we will present you to a world waiting eagerly to receive you. Whether it is to an individual, a company or a country, our promise is the same – We will ReCreate You from the inside out!"

And the more it dawned on me that this was a huge responsibility! How am I supposed to know the YOU in a person? How am I to bring out that YOU? How am I to make a person know and believe in that ME? I realized then that the Holy Spirit had to become an integral part of me, no, more than that, we had to become one!

Other people might get away with doing things the way they wanted, but I can’t; other people might be able to live successfully with self decisions but I cannot. The very nature of my purpose made that impossible. I had to live a life wholly dependent on the Holy Spirit. I have to know Him, hear Him, talk to Him, and be in HIM! I have to be in KOINONIA with Him (a word a friend just taught me meaning, ‘the ultimate intimacy; communion; fellowship’. When I heard that word, something in me shouted YES, that is what should be between me and the Holy Spirit)

This revelation changed my entire life. I immediately began to immerse myself in the Word of God; my prayer life underwent a radical change; my fellowship with God and the brethren deepened and as I changed something happened – “And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him; the Spirit of wisdom and understanding; the Spirit of might and counsel; the Spirit of knowledge and of the fear of the Lord” Isaiah 11:2.
Yes, the Holy Spirit increased dramatically in me till it got to a point I had a hard time recognizing myself. I was growing into the REAL ME! The ME God created me to be. I have always been a self confident person but the confidence I now have is not that of ‘self’. It is a confidence full of peace, certainty, serenity, and assurance. The kind of confidence the bible calls “the peace of God which passeth all understanding” Phil 4:7

And the wisdom? Oh, my! The wisdom and understanding is something that thrills me till today. I can look at a situation and immediately understand it and know what to do. I always seem to know now what advice to give and when. What of the sudden power to overcome sin? Resisting any wrong is no more a struggle. It is an unconscious thing now. I don’t even notice any sin. It is as if I have been transported to a higher realm where sin doesn’t exist (which actually I have) A friend stared at me the other day and said ‘you are different’. I laughed and asked how. She stared at me critically for long then shook her head in puzzlement and said ‘I don’t know but you are different”. I knew what she was talking about. She couldn’t really put her hands on what the change was but it was the change inside me that was reflecting outwards. It was not a physical change, it was a spiritual one.

But nothing can beat the excitement of fellowshipping with the Spirit. To be able to converse with Him and feel Him. To know Him and have Him reveal the mind of God and the person of Christ to me; to have the logos (written word) of the bible become the RHEMA (the spoken, active and powerful word) in my life. You have to experience this to understand what I am talking about. It is beyond mere words and human understanding.
This is what I mean when I tell you it is just not possible to fulfill purpose outside God. It cannot be done. You won’t even know purpose outside God!

That is the spiritual metamorphosis discovering my purpose caused in me. But I had to take some physical steps. God has been revealing to me the things I have to do, how to do them and when. God hasn’t told me all. In fact, He won’t tell me all. God has this frustrating way of doing things His way on a Need-to-know basis. AAAARGH! It drives me batty sometimes. But I always take the required step of faith. After all, this walk is A WALK OF FAITH! God operates by faith and so should we. We will only know in full when we stand before Him. Till then, we just have to leap off that cliff in faith that He will never let us fall. And He won’t!

In the next post, I will tell you what some of those things are. I cannot tell you all because the Holy Spirit has not given me leave to, but the things He allows, I will tell.

TO BE CONTD . . . . . . . .

5 comments:

  1. Thank you, Kelly for your kind words and for the link. I have visited the blog and you are right, its amazing. I'm adding her to my blog list now.
    Greetings from Nigeria!

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  2. Hi
    Thank you for sharing such candid experiences through this post. It seems your spiritual journey has given you that insight,which is not gifted to everyone. Wish you all the more joy in your life and in this journey of fulfillment.
    Barkha Dhar
    http://dharbarkha.blogspot.com/

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  3. Thank you, Bharka. I hope we all experience such spiritual fulfillment.

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