NEW LIFE RESOLUTION

"For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God" Rom 8:14


I'm not a New Year resolution person, I don't make resolutions, and I don't keep resolutions. I do however undertake life evaluations periodically to make adjustments to my life. I don't wait for new years to do this; I do it whenever I want.

A few days ago, Christmas day to be exact, I read a publication of my brother's where he mentioned running with the vision. He said it is not enough to see the vision of God for your life, we must run with it to make it a reality in our lives. It got me thinking. I have known God's purpose for my life for a few years now but I am not living it yet.

Why? I found the answer in the above verse FOR AS MANY AS ARE LED BY THE SPIRIT OF GOD, THESE ARE THE SONS OF GOD. I have not allowed myself to be led by the Holy Spirit. Even when I follow His leading, it has been after doing my own thing and messing it up then I return to Him for 'fixing'.

By refusing to allow God to direct my path I have stunted my own growth spiritually and otherwise. I started this blog as a 'baby' Christian and I would have ended it as one if not for the Holy Spirit opening my eyes to see how I have deprived myself of fellowshipping with God and realizing my vision. In a few days I underwent a 180 degrees change. It was all about 'ME' and that is okay for starters, but maturity is so much about growing out of personal preoccupation to selflessness.

So I find myself on the eve of 2010, making not a resolution but a spiritually conscious decision to be numbered and named amongst the 'Sons of God' from this time on. If I don't allow the Spirit to lead me, I will die seeing my promised land but never reaching it. That is not what I want for myself. That is not what I want to present to my heavenly Father. I am more than who I am right now; I am meant for greater things; I am bigger and larger than the cubby hole I presently occupy. I need to spread my wings and mount up like an eagle. I need to run with the vision. I have made enough mistakes; it's time to hand my life over to the one who never errs. Making Christ my Savior is good but even better is making Him MY LORD.

It is time to be led by the Holy Spirit. It is time to grow from childhood to Sonship. That is my New Life Resolution!

GIVING

“. . . . . . . . . . . . . . It is more blessed to give than to receive” Acts 20:35

It is that time of the year again, that season when we love to give. Whilst giving should not be limited to a particular time, I appreciate the fact that Christmas is associated with giving. It’s a pointer to the fact that we remember and honor the first Giver – God who gave His only Son. Christmas is a wonderful time of love and goodwill and giving. But I want to remind us of three things – The people we give to; The kind of Giving and How we give.

The People We Give To - My brother always says the best kind of giving is the giving that expects nothing in return i.e. giving to people who are in no position to give back to you. Let me paraphrase Christ’s words – “if ye give them that give ye, what reward have ye?” Matt 5:46. It’s good to give our loved ones and it’s wonderful to exchange gifts, but even better is giving to those who might never be able to give you anything in return ever. For in that, God owes you a reward. I’d rather collect from God than man, wouldn’t you? There are many charity and volunteer organizations that need a lot of things to help the less privileged all around the world. Won’t it be great knowing your giving is helping someone hundreds of miles away?

What kind of Giving – My mom says most times the cheapest thing we can give is money, that is why we give it freely. I believe that. Giving money is easier on us than giving ourselves or giving our time. Most times we take the easy route when we give money. How about volunteering your time and energy and service and skills instead of money? Pay a visit to that lonely old woman; help that farmer with his crops; lend a hand to that frazzled overworked widow; teach that child with learning difficulties etc. Opportunities abound for helpful giving, take advantage of one.

How We Give – Do we give only what we can spare or do we give above what is expected?; Do we give out of love or because we want accolades; Do we give joyfully or grudgingly; Do we give to God or to man? A sacrificial giving is a priceless giving. David recognized that “Neither will I offer burnt-offerings unto Jehovah my God which cost me nothing” 2 Sam 24:24. Every time you go out to help someone rather than stay at home to rest, you are sacrificing. Every time you forgo that new bag to donate money to a cause, you are sacrificing. Whenever you deprive yourself of something for another person, you make an invaluable sacrifice. If we have the mind that for everything we do, we do unto God, making sacrifices will not be so difficult for us. Just do it for the Father who first gave His all for you.

For those of you who want to give but don’t know how, let me introduce NABUUR to you. It is an online volunteering site where you have villages all over the world that have need of every kind of skill and profession to make lives better. It doesn’t matter what you do or who you are, NABUUR needs you and it will amaze you to discover how satisfying it is to work in unity with hundreds across the globe and see the results of the seeds you sow. Not only does Nabuur satisfy all the requirements of the three Givings listed above but they are in need of volunteers like you at this time. Just click http://www.nabuur.com and start GIVING!

A SOLID FOUNDATION

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it” Prov 22:6

Recently, I went to the church my parents have attended all their lives. The same church I was dedicated as a baby and raised as an infant till I grew up and went away to university. It is an old orthodox church founded by the United Missionary Church of Africa so many years ago and it is still alive and vibrant and thriving till today. They have a huge congregation and have a membership base ranging from infants to the elderly. Their fellowships include ones for children, teenagers, singles, young adults, new couples, old couples, ladies, men, pregnant women etc. It is a church where they still preach in that old, stodgy way we pentecostal, charismatic and new apostolic young Christians like to disparage. We have forgotten “Remove not the ancient landmarks which thy fathers have set” Prov 22:28 and we have also forgotten the fact that most of us were raised in this faithfully steady orthodox churches. Many of us even gave our lives to Christ there.

It was a very nostalgic service for me that day. I saw many of my parents’ friends and church members. I saw old friends and age mates who had stayed back in the church; I saw old Sunday school teachers and former pastors. As I sat in the auditorium, my mind went back many years to when I was a kid in one of the numerous children classes behind the main church. I remembered reciting –

“A for Abraham, the father of faith; B for Benjamin, the youngest son of Jacob; C for Caleb, one of the two to enter Canaan” etc.

I remembered learning all those bible stories through songs and plays. Many times, my Sunday school teacher, a dear lady who has gone to be with the Lord now, would have us read certain bible stories as homework and then tell the story to the class the following Sunday. That was when my storytelling ability developed. I always won the storytelling prize.

I remember when I grew up and moved to the teen classes and how we use to sneak into the main church because we believed we were already adults and should be there. How the ushers would chase us back to our own class and we would sulk and pout there and generally give our Sunday teachers a tough sullen time but they never gave up teaching us.

And finally when I turned eighteen and was then eligible to sit in church with the adults, only to leave and go off to university a few weeks later. That wasn’t fair!

As my mind wandered in church that day, I suddenly realized that this old church and my family gave me the solid foundation to be who I am today!

I derailed badly in my university days. I left all I had been taught and went my own way but even in all that, something in my heart and spirit was uneasy. I knew I was doing wrong and I hid that part of me from my parents. Why? – Because I had been raised on God’s foundation and I knew right from wrong!

God’s word never fails. When He tells you to raise a child in the path he should go and that in the future when the child is all grown up, he or she will not depart from it, it is a FACT! I am a living testimony of that. That foundation drew me back from the brink of destruction and set me on the path of life. That foundation is what I am still building on today!

Yes, those orthodox churches might bore us and may seem backward because they don’t have demon chasing, miracle working and motivational firebrand preachers like our modern churches but all through the years they have stayed committed and faithful to God’s commission – laying a solid foundation for millions and raising people in “the ancient landmarks of our fathers”.

And you know the funny thing? I will love my children to be raised in that way!

FAMILY FELLOWSHIP

“Behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity” – Psalm 133:1


I come from a family of believers. I mean a lineage of believers. I had great grandparents and grandparents who believed in Christ. Some of whom could not read or write and some who could only read the bible in Yoruba but their faith was real and living and obvious. Apart from my maternal grandfather who was of another faith, we have always been believers and I know in my spirit and heart that for generations to come, we will always be.

We were not born believers, even though some of us were born to the Christian religion. It was just that at different times in our lives, we each came to the saving grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

My maternal grandmother came to know Christ early in life through the teachings of her Christian parents and though she was given out in marriage against her wish and her parents’ will to a man not of her faith and belief (he was the king of her village so everyone had to kowtow to his wish), she stuck to Christ and raised her children in the way of the Lord. So obvious was the difference her faith made in her life that her other co-wives and their children soon followed her steps to Christ. Her unbelieving husband saw the peace and unity the faith brought to his formerly riotous polygamous household and prudently refrained from discouraging any of them from the Christian faith. And so they all grew and waxed strong in the Lord.

My Paternal grandparents were also Christians, a faith handed down from their parents. My grandfather was a traditional healer and his practice flourished because of all the traditional healers in his village, he was the only one who made no incantation over his medicinal leaves. He prayed over them instead and God honored his prayers. People flocked to him and he used the opportunity to preach Christ. My Grandmother was a trader and travelled far and wide to buy and sell and preach Christ. God blessed her mightily.

My Grandparents are all gone now. They lived long and blessed lives and are now resting but their legacy lives on. I can still hear my maternal grandmother in my mind exhorting us to go early to church and stay to take the final grace because “God sends three angels with blessings during a church service. One comes during the opening prayers; the second during the sermon and the third during the closing grace. And you should not miss any of the blessings”. That always made us laugh and till now we still laugh when we remember her saying that. But that was how simple and steady their faith was.

My mother though raised in Christ and very moral and believing all her life made a life-changing commitment to Christ when she had her first baby. She said she stared at the baby after birth and became overwhelmed at the thought of being responsible for a LIFE! She realized she couldn’t do it alone so right there on the hospital bed, she made a dedication and covenant with God. Her life changed from then on. And though that child who made her turn to Christ left to be with God at the age of thirteen, his life was amazing! Almost thirty years after his passing on, we still hear testimonies of his life. I met a man about a year ago and when I mentioned my name, he asked if I was related to so-so and when I said yes, he told me how my late brother led him to Christ at the age of ten! I cried that day (I’m actually crying again now).

My Dad's submission took a little longer than my mom’s but by the time I was in my early teens, he had taken his place and position in the Lord and it is wonderful seeing the two of them with their children grown and out of the house, serving their Savior together.

We are a large family. Lots of brothers, sisters, cousins many times removed, aunties & uncles from both sides of the family, nephews, nieces, grandnephews, grandnieces and in-laws. But we are all so united. Despite the physical distance and space between us as we settle in different parts of the world, nothing can break the love and unity we have. I believe this is because of Christ.

We not only have earthly kinship but also heavenly brotherhood. And God has been so faithful to my family. No matter how rebellious and misled we might start off as, we always find our way back to Christ. This is because God honors the prayers of our great-grandparents, grandparents and parents. The prayers they offer to God to make “them and their household to serve the Lord”. And the way they raise us in the way of the Lord gives a solid foundation that draws us back to the light.

God has also been faithful in our choice of spouses. We have wonderful God fearing husbands and wives and their families become ours just as ours become theirs and so we grow larger and fuller.

Whenever we get together for a family occasion or holidays, it’s always huge and fun. And when it is time for devotion, I’m sure even the angels pause in their duties to stare in amazement at us!

We have had ups and downs in this my huge extended family, we have lost, we have mourned, we have hungered, we have searched, but through it all God has been our strength and brought us safely through.

I have a wonderful family!

THE UNFORCED RHYTHMS OF GRACE

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” – Matt 11:28-30


The above is a direct quote from Eugene H. Peterson’s THE MESSAGE BIBLE. I love that version of the bible and it is what I use for my daily readings. Today, I came across this popular verse and the way THE MESSAGE BIBLE put it struck me. “LEARN THE UNFORCED RHYTHMS OF GRACE”. I have never thought of ‘living by His grace’ like this before. It reminded me of something that happened to me last year.

Late last year, I had a conversation with a friend. I told him then that I don’t claim my Christ given healing for small things like headache or tummy ache and all the other small aches. According to me then, there are simple over the counter drugs for things like that. I reserved “By His stripes, I am healed” (Isaiah 53:5) for serious illnesses.

A few days later, I had a very bad headache, the kind that is borderline migraine. I took analgesics and laid down for a nap. I woke up and the headache was still there. More analgesics and more naps followed but nothing helped. The headache didn’t get worse but neither did it get better. It just held steady. After four days I was getting desperate. I went to see a doctor. What followed was a whole battery of tests and examinations. Nothing turned up. More drugs, stronger analgesics were prescribed and I took them faithfully. No improvement.

I was referred to another hospital and was already scheduled for a whole new set of tests when my brother suggested praying. So that night, I prayed and reminded God that I have been healed by the stripes of His Son. Without taking any medication, I went to bed and woke up headache free for the first time in more than two weeks. I learnt that day that even if you can do it easily, there is always an easier way through Grace.

That is The Unforced Rhythm of Grace!

And that is a major part of the lesson I have been learning these past weeks. I am a go-getter, driven, passionate overachiever. I have always run the whole mile myself and I’ve always believed in “I can do it. I will do it. I must do it”. I roll under my own steam. But now the Holy Spirit is teaching me that I am in a partnership with Him and my life, career and purpose is a joint venture in which He has an active part and His own contribution is more than pointing out directions, it also includes GRACE!

Yes, I can still do it. Yes, I will still do it. Yes, I must still do it. But allowing myself to trust and rely on His Grace makes it so much easier. Working and walking with the Holy Spirit and learning how Christ does it and leaning on the Grace of God gives every task a naturalness that takes the stress and heaviness out of it all and replaces it with freedom and lightness.

That is The Unforced Rhythm of Grace!

And this Grace we have so freely was given to us at a price. A very costly price! The sweat, blood, pain, suffering and death of Jesus Christ. We might have gotten it free but He didn’t earn it free. The only way we can pay Him back is to make full use of that Grace. That’s what He intended it for. Please don’t do it on your own. For the sake of that precious blood shed on the cross, MAKE USE OF THAT GRACE! It is for your use!

LEARN THE UNFORCED RHYTHMS OF GRACE!

LEARNING

"Behold as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are ye in mine hand" - Jer 18:6


I'm going through things right now. I'm learning what it means to wait upon the Lord and I'm learning it the hard way.

I have never been a patient person and it has always affected my walk with God. I'm more of the "hit the ground running" type and now God has decided its high time i learn patience.

I HATE IT!

But i have no choice because it seems God is in "I have all the time in the world" mood. And believe me, when someone to whom a thousand years is like a day says that to you, you better toe the line he lays down or you just might be in that same spot FOREVER!

It sucks!

God is dealing with me in ways I've never experienced before and when i get cranky, its as if He just folds His arms and wait for me to get over my mood. He's in no rush. I have to confess, even though i know its for my own good and for the greater good of blah, blah, blah, i still don't like it. And i really don't like the Holy Spirit when he's like this.

I know i sound like a whinny, sulky, petulant child (I feel like one too) but i cannot help it. I've always liked things going exactly the way i want and this is certainly NOT what i want right now.

I've not been a model student so far. Sometimes, when God tells me to do some kinda things i dont wanna do, i feel like yelling "WHO DIED AND MADE YOU GOD?" Except of course, HE IS GOD so i feel like yelling "JESUS DIED AND MADE ME GOD" except of course, submission to God is part of the deal.

So. I'm stuck!

I'm learning though. And even though I really don't want God to know this yet (I don't want to hear His I TOLD YOU SO!), I'm becoming a better person and growing. Just goes to prove - GOD REALLY KNOWS BEST!

After finally realizing the earlier i get my act together and allow Him have His way in my life, the better (and earlier) I will become who i ought to be, I've FINALLY submitted to His will and leading and disciplining.

So when the BIGGER BETTER RAYO emerges from her God-enforced cocoon, you all will be the first to know.

HE’S NOT THE ONE

I want to share this article with you. I wrote it a few weeks ago for a Singles magazine and the issue came up with a friend again last week and somehow, this found its way to my blog. I hope it blesses you.

"for God is not [a God] of confusion, but of peace" - 1 Cor 14:33

Tonia and Fred had been dating for six years and now it was crunch time. To marry Fred or not? Or rather the real question was ‘Is he the right man for me or not?’ This was the crux of Tonia’s dilemma. There’s no doubt that she’s in love with Fred but she knows marriage involves so much more and she was scared of making a wrong choice and having an unhappy marriage.

Fred had proposed and Tonia had accaepted his proposal but from that moment she had been disturbed. She could not talk to anybody about how she was feeling. She had not even told anybody about Fred’s proposal and her own acceptance. Not even her family members. Instead she had turned to God. Tonia prayed and prayed for a confirmation from God about her decision but the Holy Spirit was strangely silent.

That was not surprising.

In the six years Tonia had been with Fred, he had done nothing but try to change her to another person. He had systematically cut off all her friends over the years. He had curtailed her outings and shut down the outgoing, fun loving, ever laughing girl in her. He had his own opinion of what a wife should be and he was determined to make Tonia into that image without regard for her God-given nature and personality.
He took complete control of her finances, collecting her salary at the end of each month, leaving her with only the amount he felt she needed for basic purchases. He knew how much she spent on calls and gave her a budget for personal amenities. He planned her life for her, including what to do, when and how to do it.

When her parents expressed their misgivings, Tonia excused Fred saying he was making her into a better Christian and wife material. Her parents kept quiet verbally but raised their voices even louder to God not to let their daughter make the wrong choice. They know true love makes you better but they also know love doesn’t suppress your nature. Rather, it builds it up.

The Holy Spirit didn’t answer Tonia’s question because there was no need to. He knew that Tonia knows, deep in her heart, that Fred is not the man for her but because she loved him, she refused to face up to that fact. Even if Jesus Christ should appear in front of her physically and tell her not to marry Fred, she would find a way to change the message to suit her.

The most telling confirmation of the error of her choice was that she had no peace. Peace of mind is the most important indicator of God’s will. There is no time we walk in his path for our lives that we ever lack peace. Even by human nature, when we receive a marriage proposal from the man of our dreams, what we feel is joy and eager expectation of that D-Day. We go out and tell everybody that we are engaged to HIM!

Tonia had no joy, no peace, no expectation; she could not even tell anybody! And yet she was asking the Holy Spirit to show her if she was making the right choice!!! What other sign does she need? A booming voice of thunder from heaven?!

Like Tonia, many of us know in our hearts that the choices we make are not the right ones and like Tonia, we don’t want to accept that we are wrong. If we, like Tonia, go ahead with that wrong choice, we will end up consigning ourselves to a lifetime of regret.

THINGS I NOW KNOW

“Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he shall guide you into all the truth” John 16:13

There are certain knowledge I now posses since I was baptized with the Holy Spirit that I did not have before. And these truths have changed me from the inside out. Some are general biblical truths, some are personal revelations and life lessons but all have made a difference in my life and recreated me to be the person I am now. Of course, I cannot list them all but I have chosen to write a few.

• The number one truth I discovered is that the Holy Spirit is real! He is not a force or a power. He is a person! He is alive and true and spirit and REAL! He is my constant companion, helper, comforter, confidant and friend. He is so very real!
  
• I am not a human being having a spiritual experience. I am a spirit having a human experience. My spirit is as real as the Holy Spirit and more real than the body which houses me. When all is done and over with, it is my spirit that is left standing.
  
• Everything we see and touch around us; every physical thing exists because of the spiritual and depends on the spiritual for its very existence. That means the known is made by the unknown. So when Christ tells me to focus on the unseen, He sure knows what He is talking about!
  
• Since receiving the Holy Spirit, I have grown to know, understand, accept and love myself the way I am. It is only in Christ we can truly discover ourselves and it is only the Holy Spirit who can open our eyes to see US in Christ.
  
• The meaning of Purpose. I understand now who I am; what I am; why I am; what my part and path is in life; the reason I was created and saved; how I am to walk while on earth; my job as Christ’s co-worker. I know my talents and gifts and how to express them and how they fit into the eternal scheme of life. Now I can answer the question of WHO AM I?
  
• I am never alone. I have God, my Father; Jesus, my Intercessor and the Holy Spirit, my Helper and teacher.
  
• I have learnt that I am more than I think I am. I have learnt not to stay with the ME I know but to grow to become the ME God sees.
  
• I have no limitations. I can do all things and BE all things.
  
• The battle for life is fought in the mind. If my mind can conceive it, I can achieve it. If I can believe it; I can do it!
  
• I am as God. I am god. That is what God calls me. When I stand, it is as good as God standing because I am His representative on earth. I am here to do what He wants done. I am here to establish His kingdom. I am light. I am life.
  
• It is true I am not OF the world but I am still IN the world. And for as long as I am in it, I have to live in it and exist in it and contribute to it and impact it and make it a better place.
  
• I have learnt beyond any iota of doubt that LOVE truly is the greatest.
  
• I have learnt that ‘to whom much is given, much is expected’. I have to pass on all Christ gave me. I have to tell of the love of God. I have to give the Spirit to others. Being a Christian is a HUGE responsibility. This humbles me.
  
• I have learnt that there is still so much to learn and so much to know. The more I know, the more I still have to know. Now I understand that I am still ‘pressing towards the goal’ (Php 3:14). I am just starting.
  
• Now I know the truth of that statement - “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him” 1 Cor 2:9.

And this is just the beginning!

I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES

“For with God, nothing shall be impossible” – Luke 1:37

I believe in miracles. I believe in a God who specializes in the impossible. I have seen and experienced too many things to feel otherwise. God is real and true and above everything.

I’m sitting here talking with my mom and we suddenly realized it is exactly fifteen years ago today that God did an amazing thing to show Himself mighty in our lives. He has done a great many things in our lives on a daily basis but like the Israelites look up to Crossing the Red Sea as a significant milestone so also I look up to that particular event as something wonderful. It is not a miracle like the opening of eyes or the lame walking. No, it is a miracle that shook me more than those have ever done.

There was a door in my parent’s house. It was in the entrance leading from the garage into the house. You can just drive into the garage and enter the house through that side door and you are in the living room. It was a door just like any other door except for one thing, it was loose. Somehow the door didn’t close well and even when you lock it with the key, all you had to do was lean on it and it would swing open. My dad was always planning to fix it or change the door but he always procrastinated and the door was left like that.

Then the unimaginable happened one night.

It was a night like every normal night that day fifteen years ago. My dad was out of the country on an official assignment. It was I, my mom, my grandmother, a female cousin and my little brothers at home. No adult male except an aging unarmed guard. Suddenly the silent night was shattered with the sounds of gunshots.

Armed robbers!

Anyone that has lived or lives in Nigeria will understand what I’m talking about. They had scaled the security fence, tied down our old guard and they were now trying to gain access into the house. We all woke up and panic ensued. Everybody tumbled out of the rooms running in different directions. Somehow we all found ourselves huddled in the little hall in the center of our house. The telephone was in the living room but nobody was going to move one inch away from that little hall.

And then we started hearing thumping sounds! They were ramming all the doors they could find to break inside. As one, we stared into each other’s eyes as the same thought dawned in our minds – THE GARAGE DOOR! Horror paralyzed us and froze our hearts. I clung tightly to my mom. We all did. Including my grandmother. Then I heard her whispering “Jesus, help us. Show yourself faithful!”

The thumping went on for some time and then the shooting resumed. They shot sporadically into the house from every side. They shouted and yelled for us to open the door or they would set fire to the house. My mom just kept repeating those words over and over “Jesus, show yourself faithful”. Then we started hearing sounds of fighting. There was a whole lot of shouting and screaming for a long time.

After what seemed like forever, there was silence. We strained our ears but could hear nothing. Nevertheless, we stayed right where we were till dawn. It was when neighbors started trooping in in the morning and called out to us that we felt safe enough to leave the hall. We opened the door and saw what we could not explain. There was blood everywhere. On the fence, the walls of the house, the grounds all around the compound. Even leading outside the gate, we saw bloody footprints.

Our old guard who had been tied up outside was the only eyewitness and the only thing he could tell us was they were shooting into the house then one of the robbers brought a can of gasoline to pour round the house and suddenly, the man with the gasoline started bleeding and yelling to be left alone and then pandemonium broke out and all the others started struggling and yelling too. They ended up scrambling and running out of the compound like the hordes of hell were after them, leaving most of their weapons and a whole lot of blood.

We walked round the house and the walls were riddled with bullet holes outside but none had penetrated through to the inside The bullets were lodged in the walls. Not even a single window was cracked! But that was not all. We entered the garage and came to that door. That loose, always swinging opening door.

On the body of the door were deep gouges, bullet holes with bullets and boot prints like we found on all the other doors. The robbers had rammed and kicked and shot at that door to get it open but that door had held firm! And yet, as my mom walked up to it and leaned on it, it swung open!

That day, even though I wasn’t yet a Christian and wouldn’t be for many more years, I stood in awed fear of the greatness and faithfulness of the God my parents served. I have never forgotten the dizzying sense of fear and respect and awe I experienced as I gaped in silence at the evidence of the existence and power of God.

The garage has another door now but in our store room we keep that old scarred door as a testimony to that night when “Jesus showed Himself faithful” according to my mother’s prayer. “But the Lord is faithful, who shall establish you, and guard you from the evil one” 2 Thess 3:3

Oh! How much I believe in miracles and the God of miracles! How much I believe the faithfulness of God!

GOD IS GOOD

“O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth forever” Psalm 107:1

In all the sad and difficult things that have been happening it is easy to lose sight of the goodness of God. It is so easy to stand back and ask ‘How can a good God allow such bad things?’ Very easy to query the goodness of God in the face of such ‘badness’.

But let us not forget the bible says “God is good” not that “good is God”. What that means is that good deeds do not define God. God defines good. Being good is not an attribute we ascribe to God. Good is God’s nature. That is who He is. Good is not a character, it is a person. IT IS GOD!

We define good by human standards but good can only be defined by God. Whatever God does is good because it is His nature; He cannot do anything but good; He cannot be anything else but good! HE IS GOOD!

Now I’m not saying those deaths are good things or that God killed my uncle and friends. No! Those things happened as a result of the ripple effects of the fall and they will continue to happen until we grow into the fullness of Christ and overcome death.

What I am saying is that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things seem, no matter the pervasive evil in the world, God is a good God and whatever He does is good so the only way to determine the goodness of something is to ask the question – “Did God do it?” if the answer is Yes, then that thing is a good thing.

I am convinced of the goodness of God. In the midst of so much heartache and tears, I have no doubt that my God is good. I serve a good God. I have a good Father. Even when He does things I don’t understand and because of my shortsightedness I cannot see the good right now, I still know it is good because “GOD IS GOOD” and because “we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose” Rom 8:28.

So I worship my God and thank Him for all His goodness. I honor Him and bless His holy name. There is none like Him in all the earth and above and below. He is my God and my Father. My Good God and My Good Father!

HE IS MY COMFORT

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforteth us in all our affliction, that we may be able to comfort them that are in any affliction, through the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God” 2 Cor 1:3&4

Last month was a heavy month for me. While still grappling with the loss of my uncle, I was faced with my friends’ loss of their little baby. I had yet to deal with that when I lost another friend. A young man who just got married late last year. As if that was not enough, I got news of the death of a co-volunteer on Nabuur. She died in a car crash.

I felt battered on every side. I could not understand anything again. I was operating on auto-pilot. I felt each loss keenly but could not give in to my grief because I had to be strong for others. I had to be strong for my mother, aunty and cousins who had lost a brother, husband and father; I had to be strong for my friends who were mourning the sudden death of their precious baby. I had to be strong for my friend’s young wife and the work on Nabuur had to continue.

I was floundering on an emotional tightrope and I knew it. I felt brittle and could feel I was close to shattering. I put on a brave face during the day and lay awake dry eyed at night. This continued till sometime last week when I entered my bathroom one morning to take a shower and suddenly started shaking. Tremors racked my whole body and I could not stop the shivering.

I sat on the floor, wrapped my arms around myself and tried to control the shaking. I could not.

I don’t know how long I sat there till finally I raised my head and looked out the window. I said “Jesus……..” and that was all it took. It felt as if someone wrapped giant warm arms around me and at that moment the tears I’d held back for so many days broke free.

I snuggled into those arms and wept out the pain, anger and sadness. My whole body heaved as I sobbed. I cried for the lives cut short. I cried for loved ones left behind to mourn and I cried for myself. I opened my heart up to the Holy Spirit, snuggled into My Father’s arms, held on to Jesus and allowed them to comfort me.

There is still anger, pain and sadness and there still will be for a long time but now I don’t run from it. I run to my heavenly family with it and they gather round and hold me in comfort. The more I allow myself to be comforted, the better I’m able to comfort those around me. And little by little, we are healing.

I still don’t understand why all these happened and I still don’t know when it will all stop but I do understand and know comfort. The kind of comfort only God can give. The kind of comfort that makes me a comfort to others. And I am grateful for it.

GIVE THANKS

“In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus to you” – 1 Thess 5:18

My dear friend had her much longed for, much desired baby. She and her husband had suffered through three miscarriages. I have seen the hope and joy whenever she discovers she’s pregnant and the despair and heartache when she loses the pregnancy. I have prayed with them and for them. And I have never seen them lose their faith.

Then this pregnancy. It was a difficult pregnancy from the word go. She spent more time in the hospital than home; more time in bed than out. But as each successive month crept by and the pregnancy held steady, our hope and joy increased.

When I got the call that she had put to bed, I screamed and danced a jig round my room. I cannot remember how I got to the hospital, I just found myself there. The joy on her face was confirmation that all those weeks in bed had been worth it. Everybody was euphoric. If any couple deserves to be and should be parents, it was them!

Four days later, their baby died.

For the first time, I saw my friend shattered. It was a blow too much for my strong, gentle, believing friend. She broke down. As she wept in my arms, I looked at her husband; he was numb. He seemed incapable of words or movement. I didn’t know what to say to either of them. I could only cry with them.

Then I heard one of the ladies who had come to comfort them say quietly “In everything give thanks”.

I felt a flash of anger. No, RAGE!

Give thanks for what! The miscarriages?; the long uncomfortable weeks in bed?; raising their hopes then dashing it?; dangling a baby in front of them and snatching it right back?

I saw nothing to give thanks about and no reason to thank God in anything that had just happened.

But just as quickly as it came, the anger left.

We are not told to find a reason to give thanks. Neither are we told there has to be a reason for thanksgiving. As simple and as difficult as it is, we are just told to ‘give thanks for that is the will of God to us’.

Just Give Thanks.

Oh, but how hard! How hard it is to give thanks in a situation like this. It is so hard!

THE LAST ENEMY

“The last enemy that shall be abolished is death.” 1 Cor 15:26

I wrote this two days after we laid my uncle to rest. He was sixty two years old and looking forward to the arrival of his first grandchild. We had no warning. No sign. He went to bed hale and hearty and never woke up again. It hit the whole family hard.

I have lost a lot of people over the course of my life. I lost my dear friend who helped me to Christ; I’ve lost a brother, friends, cousins, grandparents, aunties, uncles, colleagues, acquaintances. It has never gotten easier. I have asked ‘Why?” a lot of times.

But looking on as my Uncle was being interred, I asked another question. I asked “When?”

When will we overcome death?

I do not believe we are to wait till resurrection to become immortal. No! I believe it is something we are to become while on earth. Adam was not created to die. He was created to live forever. He lost it. Immortality was one of the things Christ came to restore back to us.

When Christ died on earth, He also rose on earth. In flesh and blood. He did not get to heaven before overcoming death. He overcame death then ascended to heaven. Why then have we accepted death as our lot in life?

Resurrection is not an event. It is a person – CHRIST! “Jesus said unto her, I am the resurrection, and the life” –John 11:25

As long as we have Christ in us, we have resurrection in us. We are to be indestructible as He is. But if we do not understand that we will continue to be subject to death. “I said, Ye are gods, And all of you sons of the Most High. Nevertheless ye shall die like men, And fall like one of the princes” –Psalm 82:6&7

I agree that that is not a day’s job. Just as we are to grow into fullness so also we are to grow into immortality. We have to overcome a lot of things before we get to overcoming death. It is after all, the Last Enemy. Many of us will die physically before that is achieved. I understand that.

But standing by the grave and bidding my beloved uncle goodbye, it is hard for me to accept.

I can only ask, “WHEN?”

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD?

“The heavens are telling the glory of God; and the firmament proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours forth speech, and night to night declares knowledge. There is no speech, nor are there words; their voice is not heard; yet their voice goes out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world.” Psalm 19:1-4

I have asked this question many times and I have received varying answers. But no answer has actually ever got the question correctly. I am not asking if you believe what man says about God.

I am a Christian and I believe the bible but no matter how much God inspired the bible might be, when pen was put to paper, it was by human hands. And when those ancient writings were translated to different versions and languages, it was by human scholars. We have had divinity explained to us by humanity.

But there is something that man has no hand in that explains the divine to us in a way no words can. The psalmist said “Look to nature and understand the ways of God”, so when I say do you believe in God, I am asking if you believe IN God!

When you look up to the starry sky, do you sense the divine? ; When you hear the booming thunder and watch the rolling lightning splitting the sky, do you feel awe? ; When you plant a seed and see the first thrust of its tentative growth out of the soil, do you feel that quickening in your heart? ; When you raise your face to the sun and feel its warmth, do you wonder about the countless mysteries space still hides in its wombs?

 In your search for answers, do you pause to think of what or who the question might be? ; As you follow science’s relentless quest for knowledge, do you ever sit and ask what is the foundation of that knowledge? ; In the Big Bang Theory, do you ask about the power behind the Bang? ; Do you ever hesitate and think there just might be a bigger truth out there?

Have you ever had a near miss and felt that scary tingle of “it should have been me”? ; Have you ever questioned coincidence? ; Do you walk past history and think how big, how far and how numerous the past is? ; Do you hear of an archeological discovery and feet your heart teeter on edge?

When you put your hand on the swelling mound of your belly and feel the beating life, do you think of creation? ; When you hold that precious bundle and count toes and fingers, do you wonder how? ; Do you at any moment question what you think you know? 

Do you?

Or have you lost the magic?

Do you believe in God?

SHIT DOESN’T HAPPEN!

“I call heaven and earth to witness against you this day, that I have set before thee life and death, the blessing and the curse: therefore choose life, that thou mayest live, thou and thy seed” Deut 30:19

There’s a saying that “shit happens and life goes on” but I say “shit doesn’t happen and life goes on”. All the things we see around us are as a result of the choices we make not as a result of “shit chance” or bad luck.

Someone made the choice to fly the planes into the twin towers. Another person made the choice to fight back. Thousands of brave men and women who had made the choice to fight for and defend their country were sent to war. Millions of others who had made the choice to work and pay tax ensured the money for that war.

What of the things we don’t actively and willingly choose? Every choice has a ripple effect. Just like the choice of a few mad men to wage a terrorist war affected the lives of millions so also the choice Adam made gazillion years ago is affecting us till today. He gave up his dominion over the earth and we became subjects of a power which now rule the earth and that makes “shit happen”.

So just like your 5foot father (from a lineage of 5 footers) made the choice to marry your 4 foot mother (from a lineage of 4 footers) and with both genes combined you turned out a midget. Talk about having the choice of height snapped right out of your hands! Once Adam made that choice we had no choice again. No more say in what happens to us.

Christ came to restore that choice to us. He came to give us an alternative. So now we can decide all on our own whether to rule and become kings over every circumstance and situation or be slaves to “happening shits”.

There’s one thing God has never interfered with. That is freewill. All over the bible we see choices laid out for us. People say they cannot fathom a God who gives a choice to believe Him and live or not believe Him and die. Tobacco companies also give us the choice to smoke and die or not smoke and live and we choose, don’t we? That is freedom of choice!

How else is God to play it? Leave us free to do whatever and no consequences whatever? As a parent have you forgotten telling your child “if you ace this exam, you will go to Disney but if you don’t, you will take summer classes”? You say that is mild compared to the options God is offering? Well, remember the choices we have is a battle for our very lives, our souls, our spirits, and our destinies so it’s far bigger than end of term results. It’s huge enough to get God to come down in human form. We are playing for high stakes here so God cannot afford to offer up frivolous options.

Stop blaming God for the ‘bad’ things that happen. Realize those are the ripple effects of choices people made. Just as the color of your skin, texture of your hair and length of your legs was determined by the choices your ancestors made. Then when you accept that, you can begin to understand that you can make another choice not to live your life by the choice Adam made. You can take the alternative Christ offers.

Then “shit” won’t have to happen. What of Christians whom “shit” happens to? You see, that’s what maturing into Christ(ianity) does. It makes you like Jesus. You become above it all like he was on earth and still is in heaven. Then you get to determine the “shit” that happens or you can choose to make sure no “shit” ever happens.

SINNERS, BELIEVERS AND CHRISTIANS

“But God commendeth his own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” – Rom 5:8

Who is a sinner? According to the bible – NOBODY! Sinners existed before Christ but from the time Jesus died and rose, sinners ceased to exist. They simply went extinct!

The bible says “By which will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all” Heb 10:10. The word here is “ONCE FOR ALL” He doesn’t die every time a soul accepts Him as savior. NO! More than 2,000 years ago, He died and enveloped the whole world in a blanket of forgiveness. It is when you accept that that it becomes real to you but it doesn’t change the fact that He had already forgiven you ages ago.

Let me put it like this, if someone pays for a holiday cruise for you, as in pays all the bills, then you choose not to eat on the ship, does that mean the meal hasn’t been paid for? If you start eating on the fourth day of the cruise, does that mean the bill was just paid on the fourth day?

Christ has already paid the bill in full but we have to believe that fact and accept it and start ‘eating’ up for us to enjoy. That is when you become a believer.

You grow into Christianity. Look at the first time the word Christian was used in the bible – “And it came to pass, that even for a whole year they were gathered together with the church, and taught much people, and that the disciples were called Christians first in Antioch” Acts 11:26. It was when the group of disciples and believers became so much like Christ in their behavior and ways and teachings that people saw it and started calling them ‘CHRISTIANOS’ meaning ‘followers of Christ’

You become a Christian when you become like Christ. Free of every limitation and restriction. When you are full and complete. It is when you become ‘god’ on earth like Christ was. Above every situation and impossibility.

The believer has life, the Christian has abundant life!

So technically and biblically, I’m a believer not a Christian. But that’s okay. I will grow and mature into Christianity. That’s why the Christian life is a journey. With God, you crawl, stumble, limp, walk, fall, run, fly, crash till you are firmly rooted. It is a life measured in steps not time. It’s a journey that can be short or long depending on our willingness, submission and obedience.

I will get to full maturity but in the mean time I’m having a blast honeymooning with Christ as a believer!

WHY I LOVE BEING A CHRISTIAN

“The greatest of these is love” - 1Co 13:13

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! That’s just it. I can be who I am; who I want to be; who I should be and it won’t make a single tittle bit of difference to God. He loves me as I am. He accepts me as I am. He blesses me as I am.

I smoke, I drink, I have sex (that means fornication), and I swear, I have a temper, I have a bitchy tongue and I’m a Christian! Odd? Yes, according to so called Christian standards but to God – THAT’S MY DAUGHTER!

What I do does not and cannot change who I am. I am the beloved of His heart, His child. God loves me regardless of all the ‘sins’ I commit.

How many of us yearn to be loved for who we are exactly as we are? That can only be found in Christ. He is the only one who accepts us unconditionally.

I talk to the Holy Spirit of everything and He answers me. I tell Him of my day and deeds (including all my sins) and he listens. I tell Him of every thought and idea and plan whether ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and He hears me. ALWAYS!

My life never affects our relationship. God is my dad and I am his daughter!

I get angry at Him, I question Him, I sulk and throw tantrums and He is still my loving Father. He disciplines and punishes me just like my biological father. I don’t get away with all my crap but that’s what being a child to a good father is about.

I don’t pretend to Him because there’s no need to. Why would I lie to someone who loves me regardless (apart from the fact that He knows it all anyway)

And then a wonderful thing happens. When you have such unconditional, irrepressible, visible, obvious, open, loving love, it starts changing you. You begin to respond in kind. You start wanting to BE that love. You want to live up to His expectations. You want to make Him happy always. Then you realize you are changing.

Not a false change but a deep inner change that creeps up on you. You just realize one day that you are different in a wonderful way. That is the power of love.

God’s love treats us the way we should be not the way we are. He sees the greatness in us through the pettiness we show. He knows who we are not what we portray. He sees the creativity in our imaginatively wicked acts. He sees the passionate drive in our selfish motives. He sees the hunger for survival in our stampede of the weak. He believes in us. And He loves us!

WHY I BELIEVE IN JESUS

“I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God” Acts 8:37

Please note that I am not trying to tell you why you should believe in Jesus. I am simply telling you why I believe. My answer is pretty simple and straightforward – because of FAITH! I know many people are going to think “here we go again with Christianity!” but the truth is that every single human on this earth lives on faith. We go to sleep with plans for the next, forgetting that there is no guarantee we will actually wake up the next day; we wake up and go about our day with plans to round up and go home to rest; we go home certain our houses will still be where we left them etc. We simply believe! Why do we assume these things if not for faith?

It takes as much faith not to believe in God as it does to believe in him (probably more). Believing in Science also requires faith just as believing in religion does. The only difference is that I chose to put my faith in Christ.

We are creatures of faith whether we accept it or not. Faith is logical. There is something in each of us that has to believe in something. We can believe God is not real or believe Christianity is fake or believe in what we can prove or believe in facts and theories or believe philosophy or principles, anything! That word “believe” is FAITH.

When you say ‘I believe in ………….’, you are saying ‘I have faith in ………’ or you say ‘I don’t believe in …………’, you are saying ‘I don’t have faith in ………….’

Whether we acknowledge it or not, faith is very much a part of us. So, what then do you believe in? Or maybe I should put it like this – What do you have FAITH in?

I have faith in God, faith in Jesus Christ, faith in the Holy Spirit. Of all the million things I can believe ………. sorry, have faith in, I choose to have faith in Christ. And every day since I believed, He has proved my faith in him.

You want proof? Then “taste and see”. The why and how can only be explained in experiencing it. If you were once a Christian and now you are out of it and against what you once believed, I can assure you a hundred percent without an iota of doubt that you were never a Christian, you just subscribed to a Christian doctrine. There is no one who can ever experience what salvation really is and go back. It’s just not possible! That much I can stake my life on.

You want proof of my faith, then enter it and get your proof! You think you can preach and prove Christianity is false? Whatever you say is gist because “for the kingdom of God is not in words but in power” – 1 Cor 4:20. I don’t argue Christianity, I show it! Not with dos and don’ts or laws and grace but with my everyday life. Complete with all its rust and dirt and imperfections. Christianity is not seen in holiness and perfection; it is seen in everyday, ordinary and normal lives.

So if you want to know why I chose to put my faith in Christ, watch my life and have an idea then taste Christ and understand.

The Flesh and The Spirit

“So then I of myself with the mind, indeed, serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” Rom 7:25 (ASV)

I’m sure by now you must be thinking I’m a saint. I wish! Believe me; sainthood is very far from me. From the time of my salvation right through my baptism of the Hoy Spirit up till this very moment, it has been one hurdle after another. I have sinned so many various sins. Even came up with some new ones I wasn’t into before my salvation. Some are unintentional sins, some willful and deliberate. I have fallen more times than I can count.

Sometimes, I wonder why God doesn’t just pick me up by the scruff of my neck and lock me up in a room to keep me out of His hair. I’m sure I’ve tried His godly patience more than once. You remember the teaching about His grace being more than sufficient? I believe I’ve used up more than my allocated share of that grace and then some.

It’s not as if I don’t want to be good and it’s not as if I have not been given the power to overcome but the call of the flesh is still so tempting sometimes and its usually easier falling than resisting. Not to talk of the ‘temporary bliss’ (but eternal loss) it offers. My carnal mind is being renewed on a daily basis by the Holy Spirit and I’m having a clearer understanding of the Word and cannot plead ignorance. I have revelation knowledge but…………………………..The ‘BUT’ is my flesh!

Because I still acknowledge my flesh, I still have the consciousness of sin and until I can be free of that, I will still subject myself to the law Christ died to put away. It is a vicious cycle that says for as long as I believe I am doing something wrong, I will continue trying to do something right but will fail and do something wrong and will continue believing I’m doing something wrong!

That is the law Paul wrote about in Rom 7:7 – “Howbeit, I had not known sin, except through the law: for I had not known coveting, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet” And that is the very law Christ came to set us free from “For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus made me free from the law of sin and of death” Rom 8:2.

If I believe I can sin, I will sin! But if I know and believe that Christ has taken the Sin Nature away from me and given me a new spirit, then I will know I cannot produce a fruit different from the seed in me and consequently, it is not possible for me to sin then I will truly be free from that sin consciousness and the law and will then discover I am instinctively and unconsciously living a ‘sin-free life’. “Whosoever is begotten of God doeth no sin, because his seed abideth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is begotten of God” 1 John 3:9

This is one of the greatest mysteries the church has not fully understood. When we know and understand it is impossible for us to sin, then it will be impossible for us to sin and we can become who God says we are – OVERCOMERS! It is only in knowledge we can defeat the flesh and carnal mind. If we know, we won’t have to struggle to overcome ‘sin’. Christ has already done that. Why fight a battle that has been won? Why try to defeat an already conquered enemy?

The only battle left for us is between the flesh and the spirit and that battle is to be fought in our minds. That’s why the bible mentions our mind again and again. “And that ye be renewed in the spirit of your mind” Eph 4:23; “be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind” Rom 12:2; “Wherefore girding up the loins of your mind” 1 Pet 1:13.

We gain nothing by being constantly aware of sin. It is the enemy’s tactic to keep us distracted and focused on something else apart from Christ. It keeps us guilty and fearful of our father. Let us not allow anything to affect our relationship with our heavenly father.

“Hereby shall we know that we are of the truth, and shall assure our heart before him: because if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, we have boldness toward God” 1 John 3:19-21.

I have not reached there yet. I’m still struggling with the awesomeness of it. With the thought that I am actually the same as Christ – sinless and perfect, unable to do anything wrong! My physical sense, my human intelligence is still grappling with it. My spirit knows the truth of it but until my mind accepts it, I cannot live it. But I know I will get there. I will know and accept and become that truth. Soon!

The Spirit of Truth

“Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he shall guide you into all the truth: for he shall not speak from himself; but what things soever he shall hear, [these] shall he speak: and he shall declare unto you the things that are to come”. – John 16:13 (ASV)

There is no Christian who can live a successful life without the Holy Spirit. Until the Holy Spirit steps into the picture, we will remain saved but powerless. That’s why Jesus said in Acts 1:8 – “But ye shall receive power, when the Holy Spirit is come upon you”. But it’s even worse than being powerless when we don’t have the Holy Spirit in us. I found that out in the few years after my salvation. I was tossed to and fro on the wings of different doctrines. I labored under great misconceptions because I didn’t know better.

God knew exactly what I needed. I had reached a point where I knew I was searching for something but didn’t know what. I was looking for help to make sense out of it all. To understand. Understand what exactly? I didn’t know. I could not put my finger on what was wrong but I knew there was a great yearning in my heart for more than I had.

God answered that yearning in the form of another wonderful friend. A man who is now my pastor and teacher. He asked me one hot afternoon if I had the Holy Spirit. I said no. he held my hands and asked me if I wanted Him. All I knew about the Spirit was that He is the third part of the Trinity but as long as he’s associated with God and Jesus, that was okay with me so I said yes. My pastor held me and asked God to give me His Spirit. That prayer was answered instantly.

I opened my mouth and strange words started flowing out. I felt a thrill run through me and I felt again the joy in my spirit as when I just got saved. All through that day, I kept sneaking off to be alone and try the new ‘language’ thing. Each time I did that I experienced the same joy. I was so happy.

But God still wasn’t through yet. A few days after, I came across a training school about the Holy Spirit and I felt this instant conviction that I must attend. I did and that day marked a 180 Degree turn in my life. I learnt who the Holy Spirit is, how real He is and how personal He should be to each Christian. I couldn’t wait to find that out myself.

I got home and locked myself in my room. I wanted to talk to the Holy Spirit alone and have him prove His existence to me. I had the whole prayer planned out in my mind. I never got beyond the first two words. I only had time to say “Holy Spirit………..” when this overwhelming rush pushed me to my knees and the most beautifully strange yet seemingly familiar words began to tumble over themselves from deep in my heart, deeper than my heart. They seemed to come from the very core of me.

I was laughing and crying at the same time. The joy in me was beyond anything I had ever felt before. It was as if I could reach out and touch God. As if Jesus was right there beside me (He was actually and has always been and will always be) My spirit connected with the Holy Spirit and I suddenly knew  who He was. He had become real to me.

That day was just the beginning. I have not had that first day experience again but I’ve not needed it since that day. The Holy Spirit had become a part of me. Every day since then I know exactly who He is to me. I talk to Him, I walk with Him, I learn from Him, I hear Him! We have a personal relationship.

The first thing He started with was teaching me the Word. The Truth! Not the hogwash I had been fed but the Truth that sets free. With Him, I learned to stop trying and start trusting; to stop striving and start leaning on grace; to stop thinking with my senses and start seeing with my spirit. I learned faith is simply believing God. He taught me to call God, My Father; Jesus, My Lord and My Brother and the Holy Spirit? My Best Friend, My Confidant, My Teacher, The Spirit of My Father and My Lord. My Dearest Holy Spirit!

700 Things To Do To Attain Righteousness

“By the works of the law shall no flesh be justified in his sight” Rom 3:20 (ASV)

The euphoria of salvation did not last long. I soon came back to earth with a loud thump. I had to start living as a Christian or rather as I had been wrongly raised to believe Christians lived. All my life I had been taught to be sinless meant not having one wrong thought, dressing right (no trousers or clinging clothes!), being holy (& holiness was equivalent to being dowdy and passive), read my bible twice daily, pray without ceasing, start each prayer with confession of sin, plead for God’s forgiveness and mercy for my sinful unworthy soul, be humble, give to the poor, help the needy, pay my tithes, fast regularly, obey the 10 commandments. The list was endless!

I was told repeatedly that “narrow is the way to heaven” and that “the kingdom of God suffereth violence”. I had to work hard to get there. If I was found wanting in the smallest thing, I would lose my salvation and be a candidate of hell once again.

How horrible for a young Christian! How was I to attain perfection and be counted righteous by God by doing good deeds? All I heard were fire and brimstone preachings. About how dreadful it is to know God and then backslide over a little sin; the dangers in the world; what not to do; how not to do them; what to do and exactly how to do them; how to know and understand the devices of the enemy etc. My dear friend had travelled far by then and I could not talk to her but I was determined to be a very good Christian by the time she returned so I redoubled my efforts on striving for holiness.

What a hopeless cause! How unnecessary! I was already righteous! Righteousness was already bestowed on me as a free gift when I accepted Jesus as my Lord. – “…………………even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ unto all them that believe; for there is no distinction” (Rom 3:22) and it goes on in Vs 24 – “being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus”. There was no way man could ever attain righteousness – “all our righteousnesses are as a polluted garment” (Is 64:6). And if we could attain that impossibility, then Jesus came to waste his time on earth – “for if righteousness is through the law, then Christ died for nought” (Gal 2:21).

I do not know where such stupid teachings came from but we should all read our bibles and know the truth. Just as it wasn’t our sinful deeds that condemned us – “For if, by the trespass of the one, death reigned through the one” (Rom 5:17a) so also it is not our good deeds that makes us worthy before God. Righteousness was freely given to us by God through Jesus – “and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one, [even] Jesus Chris” (Rom 5:17c)

“So then as through one trespass [the judgment came] unto all men to condemnation; even so through one act of righteousness [the free gift came] unto all men to justification of life.” (Rom 5:18) We are saved once and for all. We do not earn our salvation, we received it through faith. Neither do we earn our right standing with God; we also received it through faith! “For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation” (Rom 10:10)

To try to do otherwise or try to earn it by our own doing is wasting time and rejecting God’s gift – “For being ignorant of God's righteousness, and seeking to establish their own, they did not subject themselves to the righteousness of God” (Rom 10:3) We have been freely given righteousness by God, we should freely accept it and enjoy it!

I do not mean to preach but this is a problem in the Church that agitates my mind. Young innocent Christians are made to focus on an impossibility instead of learning to love and know God as a loving and caring Father. Attention is diverted from Christ and turned to stupid ‘dos and don’ts’ when Christ has already replaced law with grace.

I wasted a lot of time trying to be good. I was completely robbed of my joy in Christ and feared my Heavenly Father as a stern, unyielding, impossible-to-please, slave-driving, punishment-loving, faraway absentee God. I was only set free when I learned the truth. And I only learnt the truth when I received the great teacher, my companion, my comfort, my friend, my helper, the spirit of truth – The Holy Spirit!

The Double-Edged Sword

“For the word of God is living, and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, and piercing even to the dividing of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and quick to discern the thoughts and intents of the heart.” – Heb 4:12 (American Standard Version)

I have experienced that double edged sword many times. I have been a beneficiary to the Word at different times and in various ways. My first experience of the awesomeness of the Word was what led to my salvation. I grew up in a Christian home but I wasn’t a Christian. It was just a religion to me.

There was a time some friends and I were arguing about religion and a question was popped at me ‘Why are you a Christian?’ My answer was immediate and honest ‘Because I was born into a Christian home’. That was all being a Christian meant to me. It was just something that was as a result of my birth. Same as I’m black coz I have black parents. If I had been born into a Muslim home, I would have been a Muslim or Hindu home, Hindu religion.

But it all changed a few years later. I met this wonderful woman. A Christian and a teacher of the Word. It was a chance meeting that changed my life. She had come into a town for a program in the campus and I was on campus visiting a friend. It was raining cats and dogs, yet at 5pm, students started trooping out in hundreds. Right under the pouring rain! I was amazed. I wondered who could actually get students out in the rain for a Christian program!!! This piqued my curiosity. I just had to see who it was.

So I dressed up and joined the multitude in the rain. I did not hear a single word of the sermon. All I could do was stare at this beautiful charming woman, radiating so much joy and confidence and I was enchanted. After the service, I went up to her. There were lots of people around waiting to see her and she was graciously attending to all. Normally, I’m not a patient person but that day I waited.

She got to me and I told her ‘You are amazing!’ She threw back her head and laughed and said thank you. Then for a reason, she took my hand and pulled me after her. We started talking about books and discovered we both loved reading. She asked if I had read the bible. I said no and mentally braced myself for the blablabla. She surprised me. She looked stunned and asked “how can you love books and not have read the bible?” she waved her hand dismissively and added, “forget about the bible being the Word of God and just read it as you would a normal novel. It has so many stories inside”

She went on to tell me some of the stories, funny ones I didn’t know were there. Like the story of Shibboleth and Sibboleth. Not once did she ask if I was saved or not. She gave me a Today’s English Version and I got home later that day and started reading the bible. She was right. It had so much history and culture and stories. All the things I loved. So I read and read and finished the whole bible from Genesis to Revelations within three weeks. I deliberately kept my mind off any God idea and read it like she suggested – A Novel!

But the Word is ever living and ever active. God’s word can never fail. I called her when I was through and we had great times laughing and discussing the stories. About five months later, the same religion argument came up again with the same friends and the same question was directed at me. I opened my mouth to respond as before but what came out instead shocked me. “Because I believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. He is the son of God and the only way to God. He came to live and die to give me life”

To say I was shocked is an understatement. My friends stared at me like I had grown two heads and I could only stare mutely back. The discussion soon petered out but I could not get my mind off what I said. I walked home in a daze and locked myself in my room. I sat down on the bed and thought of my words. I thought back on all I had read in the bible. Words that I had tried to ignore but could not silence.

I was sitting alone in that room all through the night. Thinking! As dawn neared, I realized I did believe it! It was all true! Jesus is the Son of God! He did come in human form! He lived! He died! He rose! He lives! The logos had become rhema to me.

I opened my mouth to pray but the only thing that could come out was “Jesus” and then I burst into tears. I didn’t know why and I still don’t. But I cried deep heaving tears that morning. For more than two hours. When I could finally talk, I was just repeating over and over again ‘Jesus, I believe! Jesus, I believe!’

Later that day, I called that dear preacher woman and as I heard her voice, I started crying again. She knew without being told that my life had changed. And she said “Welcome to the Family!” I started laughing and she joined me. We laughed for no reason but the joy bubbling in our hearts. It was beautiful.

That double-edged sword had crept into my body and cut through bone and marrow to divide my soul from my spirit and restore life to me. I didn’t know when it happened but I felt its impact. A new life had begun in me. I had left religion far behind in the river Jordan and emerged from its banks, a new creation. I had found the life of Christ, the abundant life He died to give.

Introducing

Sometimes i feel i live the most exciting life in the world. I have such a great time walking with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit that i have to share it with the world. It has truly been 'a walk in grace' and it keeps getting better. I'm growing from grace to grace!

This blog is about my christian walk. Its about the things I have seen and learnt in God and how every step of the journey has been so far. It is to honour the Saviour who came to save me; the Father who loves me and the Holy Spirit who has made my life beautiful.

Being a christian is a deep and wonderful thing. It is life and truth and power and glory. I've had my ups and downs but the thing with God is that even when you are down, you are actually up! That can only make sense to you if you are a christian.

People who think christianity is a religion have missed it big time! Christianity has not and will never be a religion. It is Life! An Abundant Life. It is THE LIFE!

Join me as i take you through my faith, through my life in Christ. I pray "the words of my testimony" will touch your lives and make you want to 'taste and see' that my God is good!